I was very tempted to use an old photograph of myself for this blog. A thin photo. I have many. Always dead keen to pose for sultry pictures when I'm feeling gorgeous, and let's face it, feeling thin, equates with feeling gorgeous. Unflattering, fat photos are obviously deleted and/or destroyed. Unless they're the ones taken at my brother's wedding, In which I wore a baby pink jersey, which accentuated every roll of fat, and which is prominently displayed in their home. Or the one taken at my sister-in-laws baby shower, in which I (feeling rather fabulous at the time), wear a ruffled skirt over leggings, the evidence of which can now be seen on her Facebook page. But in the spirit of honesty and honouring this body (in whatever shape it is), I decide to use a new one. But not without the help of my friends.
Algria Ferreira is a blond pixi with an enormously generous heart. A celebrated make-up artist who refers to what she does as ‘painting’. 'Ek sal jou verf’ ( I'll paint you) she tells me in the park where we walk our dogs. She makes this offer on the same afternoon in which she told me I had looked beautiful crossing the road that morning. You see, Algia sees beauty wherever she goes. She looks at the world through an artist’s eyes. And so I trust her; know that she’ll be gentle with my vulnerability; kind to my insecurity. And so, in desperation, I take her up on her offer.
I also ask my wonderful friend/journalist/photographer, Judy van der Walt, to take the photos. Because I feel safe with her. And because gorgeous and talented as she is, she also, always, makes me feel gorgeous and talented as well. And so one Sunday afternoon, I have my own photo shoot.
Props: Cake courtesy of Cakebread (but much more about them later); Maximilian (our impossible-to-control Labrador puppy) and Jacques (husband and best friend who has stood by me, literally, through thick and thin.)
And in the winter sunshine, surrounded by those I love, and who will me to do well, I have my picture taken. And I feel good. And beautiful. And hopeful. And I want to lose weight. And I want to learn to cook. And I want to live fearlessly. Because I am a Hungry Woman. And that implies an appetite for life and experiences. An appetite unhampered by insecurities.